Grandma - Happy Birthday. In an unparalleled stroke of fate your birthday coincides with the New Zealand Masters Games right here in Dunedin! According to the website:
"The Masters Games is a multi-sport event that offers "mature" participants the opportunity to interact with each other in a range of sporting and social activities."
Now I dont know about all this "social activities" stuff Grandma, what we want from you are medals. All the team sports events are closed for entry, but as I said thats just opportunity for fratenising and we want medals. I took the liberty of entering you into a few singles events (trying to target your stronger areas):
- hill run (we'll tie you to jenny and pull a dead possum up the hill - we dont have squirrels here, so im thinking on my feet - you will have to do other things than think with yours, but you have a good chance at this one)
- duathlon (not sure what the events are, but there are 2 of them, so chances are you'll be good at at least one of them, if jenny isnt tuckered out we can repeat the hill run strategy)
- all of the equestrian events (heard about your prowess with the horses. havent found you a horse yet but leave it with me. how are racehorses at dressage events by the way - no doubt you'll manage)
- table tennis (hit the ball. On to the table. What could be easier?)
- petanque (no idea what this is so I entered you in case)
I know these are tough sports and realistically we dont expect gold in all 5 disciplines. but I think I speak on behalf of all the family when I say we expect great things from you in the following:
- ice figure skating
- woodchopping (ive already put my entire PhD scholarship on you winning this one Grandma, thats how sure I am. The odds were pretty favourable. I have sharpened the axes)
- wine options (no other details explaining this event, but if you dont win it I will eat my hat, and everybody elses. Put Rog on standby for this one). They wanted to know red or white,
i said, "both of course". they wanted to know which first. I said it shouldnt matter after the first... hour, but too make sure they had enough of the stuff, because youd be thirsty after the hill run.
Anyway, enough of that. Hope its a very good day and that the cold winter isnt getting to you too much. I can tell you the weather is much improved here, over the last week - sunny and dry. Pats for Jen.
PS if you cant make it, Ive entered Sandra as your back up (according to the rules of the games she is well qualified, age wise, to enter. what I lose on the woodchopping, im sure to gain on the hill run. previous experience has shown me that Sanj can run up 2 flights of stairs and smack a bottom before youve even had chance to tense the old gluteous maximus, not the left nor the right. future experience will no doubt show me whether she can make it over 2 oceans and do the same...)
PPS Im going to have some people round for supper and have promised them a meal from the scottish rural womens cook book. whats all these pounds, onces and cups? dont these Scots know about metrics? Also, very dissapointed not to find a recipe for athol brose, guess im just going to have to find the right amount of whisky to porridge ratio through trial and error. Ill start with 4 cups whisky to 1 cup porridge and work up from there. Can any bodjy elshe whoshe reeasdin(hic)g thish pleash shend more (hiccup), um, wadja callit....
Whishky
harry bathday...
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