The Maori are indigenous to New Zealand. They colonised Aoetorea (land of the long white cloud - see previous blogs for confirmation of this fact...) from neighbouring pacific islands sometime in 1300AD. Within 100 years the Moa were extinct.
What I mean here, boet, is that these are facts that should be running through your mind before you decide to tackle a pacific islander. A moa (remember 3.7m/230kg) = 2x Alec's in height,and = to Alec in weight.
You just cant match that height advantage.... Im just surprised he managed to clock you one in the jaw at all, and that his elbow didnt go swinging harmlessly a foot above your head. Were you jumping at the time?
I thought you might have learned a lesson from your younger brother - after heinous facial injuries (requiring stitches, possible plastic surgery, drinking beer through a straw) at the hands of a 10 year old. A 10 YEAR OLD. Boet, i dont know if its because we are south african or if its a trait in this family - but we just cant turn the other, erm, well... cheek. Ive been in NZ 5 months now, and trust me Polynesians have a magnificent physique.
So read this very carefully.....
Discretion:
1 : the quality of being discreet : circumspection; especially : cautious reserve in speech
2 : ability to make responsible decisions
Valor:
strength of mind or spirit that enables a person to encounter danger with firmness : personal bravery
Fake:
transitive verb 1 : to alter, manipulate, or treat so as to give a spuriously genuine appearance to : doctor faked the lab results>
2 : counterfeit, simulate, concoct faked a heart attack>
3 : to deceive (an opponent) in a sports contest by means of a fake
Hamstring:
1 a : either of two groups of tendons at the back of the human knee b : any of three muscles at the back of the thigh that function to flex and rotate the leg and extend the thigh
2 : a large tendon above and behind the hock of a quadruped
Injury:
hurt, damage, or loss sustained
Glass chin (couldnt resist):
same as Glass Jaw
in boxing, a jaw that is highly vulnerable to an opponent's punches (informal)
Anyway Im not sure which Pacific Island this person was from so I opted to contact the Fijian authorities to make a complaint. They asked for a description, I said it was a pacific islander. They said they needed more than that. I said the person was big. How big?, at least 6ft2 and 16 stone. they said it wasnt much help since 74% of men and 93% of women were that size or bigger. I said I didnt think it was a woman, they said are you sure?, I said well no you didnt actually get close enough to be personable. I said this person played rugby, they said "and?".
They said they would do their best to track them down and I am quietly confident we'll get the culprit. Then we'll toss them the rugby ball and you can have your revenge tackle, or?...
Good luck for the surgery...Tell Jules to buy you one of those hats which fits 2 beer cans on the side of the head, and through an over elaborate straw system delivers beer to your mouth. If youre lucky she can buy one which is too big so the ice cold beer cans rest against your jaw instead of the side of your head.
Jules, you may never get a better opportunity to to tell Alec a few things without him answering back - may I tentatively suggest you dont let such a chance go begging....
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